cold feet

its surprising how at one point, you've always wanted something (to have yourself published) and then not only get the opportunity but also have people asking for more (material). that can freak a person out, so to speak. needless to say that my first week as an 'official' entertainment journalist was the most nerve-wrecking. all of a sudden, not only did i have people listening to what i had to say, but also taking me seriously.

i was feeling a lot of pressure.

to top it off, i had been approached by a known band asking me to market them. if i wasn't a journalist/writer or a musician/vocalist, i would definitly have been a marketeer. marketing is a subject that is very close to my heart. i had a very clear idea of what the listener demographics of that band were, what mediums they should use to promote themselves and what they should do/when they should do it. where i was willing to help them out and give them my advice/ideas (free of cost), the idea of taking responsibility made me very very uncomfortable.

add both of the above and you got a very confused madeeha.

the questions that went through my head were:
why are they listening to me?
who was i?
what if i screw up?
i am not "qualified" enough, why take me seriously?
why wont anyone point out the loopholes in my ideas?
will i be able to do it?

decided to go talk to a friend of mine, omar A.

the talk did me good. what changed everything for me, as in for me in my internal madeeha-world was the following bit of the conversation:

me: but why take me seriously?!
omar: isn't it about time you started talking yourself seriously?
me: i'm so young!
omar: and i'm the youngest executive in the industry. when i started out, i didn't know anything. i had to get down to it all and learn the little things. it all worked out in the end.

thats when i decided to breathe. prioritise. and approach it by taking one step at a time.